Steak Rave

Along with crack and Transformers, steak seems to have bucked the recession trend and thrived in this economy, as evidenced by the Galactic Empire-like expansion of places like Blazin' Steaks. They are the new Starbuck's, and with lunch plate offerings of about $6.00, similarly priced as well.

Enter Steak Rave on Alakea, taking over the spot long held by Alakea Delicatessen. The same owners are still there so it appears to be an individual franchise type of deal. With Blazin' Steaks just down the street, what does Steak Rave have to offer that will set them apart? The answer would be... noodles. That's right. You can get fried noodles with your steak. Woot! That was sarcasm.

To me, this idea seems rather forced and contrived. Kind of like when public service announcements try to throw in some rap and hip hop because, well it's rap and hip hop... so the kids MUST be listening, right? WRONG, jackwad. You just come across as pandering and out of touch.

Let's get down the the meat of the matter. PUN! At $6.00 you can't expect a steak that's going to blow you away. But I found my steak over salted and tough. The noodles were uneven. You'd have bland spots with heavily sauced portions. However, the biggest gripe I have was the speed of service. It's noodles and meat, people. There is no frigging way I should be waiting a half hour for my food. I could have walked down the street to Blazin' Steaks, ordered my food, walked back to Steak Rave, then back to Blazin' Steaks to order another plate in that time.

Verdict: meh.

The snail-like pace was infuriating, made even worse by the fact that you could see them moving in slo-mo in the kitchen through the open doorway. As the crowd built up you could sense the tension growing in the room. Starvation and irritation are a volatile mix. It had all the makings of a Bolivian prison riot. All that was missing was a flaming mattress. Aaaaaaaand... AND I missed out on the Shaolin Warriors doing some kind of free performance across the street at Tamarind Park. THANKS A LOT!

The B.S. to food quality scale is grossly unbalanced. With the proliferation of cheap steak plates being offered, Steak Rave had better get its act together soon.